Schizophrenic and Augustine

Schizophrenic and Augustine

John Bjarne Grover

The following is a transcript from a schizophrenic woman (transcript probably taken from the periodical 'Psychiatry') answering the question "why are you in hospital right now?":

"Yes, as I say, I'm very, the whole condition is life after death. I mean at one time somebody turned my people into animals and I think that's Dr.Z-, you see but the thing is, I mean, we went through the Second World War and I did something quite big out in Germany and I've tried to blow Germany up and all Thomas McB-. did who's a patient here with a red and white shirt on, here in ward 4, he all he did was build up Germany the way he said he was gonna build it up, but he did prostitution behind my back with them and I didn't know what was going on. You see, now the thing is it's a life and death, it's you've got to make the other side of the grave but I can only remember this side of it. I can't remember coming in as a, as a new born baby. Can you see what I'm getting at? I can that, those four years are mopped out, mapped out, I can only remember when my father went off to war, when I came out the Anderson shelter and he went off to war. Can you see what I'm getting at? The thing is there's Egypt the land of the Pharaohs and there's all round Iran, all round the religious countries. But where was the garden of Eden? That's the problem, I think it was Ireland so the thing is, the point is, where did Australia come out in religion and, and New Zealand and Tasmania. Where did it come out?"

This text - analyzed in my 1999 book "Time and the sonnet" - is divided into 32 segments and folded twice and the 8 resulting groups are matched against chapters 29-30 of book XI of Augustine's "Confessions" (source details see below):

Schizophrenic woman Augustine

1 1
Yes, as I say, I'm very, the whole condition is life after death. But because thy loving kindness is better than life itself,

now the thing is it's a life and death, behold my life is a distraction,

it's you've got to make the other side of the grave and thy right hand hath taken hold of me,

where did Australia come out in religion and, and New Zealand and Tasmania. Where did it come out? even in my Lord the Son of Man, the Mediator betwixt thee that art but one, and us that art many, drawn many ways by many things

2 2
but I can only remember this side of it. that by him I may apprehend him in whom I am also apprehended,

I mean at one time
You see, and that I may be gathered up from my old conversation, to follow that one, and to forget what is behind:

That's the problem, I think it was Ireland so the thing is, the point is, not distracted but attracted, stretching forth not to what shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which are before:

3 3
I can't remember coming in not, I say, distractedly but intently, follow I hard on, for the garland of my heavenly calling, where I may hear the voice of thy praise, and contemplate these delights of thine,

But where was the garden of Eden? which are neither to come, nor to pass away.

somebody turned my people into animals But now are my years spent in mourning, and thou, my Comfort, O Lord, my Father, art Everlasting

and I didn't know what was going on but I fall into dissolution amid the changing times, whose order I am yet ignorant of:

4 4
and I think that's Dr.Z-, you see but yea, my thoughts are torn asunder with tumultuous vicissitudes,

but he did prostitution behind my back with them even the inmost bowels of my soul

as a, as a new born baby. until I may be

there's Egypt, the land of the Pharaohs, and there's all round Iran, all round the religious countries. run into thee, purified and molten by the fire of thy love".

5 5
the thing is, I mean, And after that

he all he did was build up Germany the way he said he was gonna build it up, I will stand, and grow hard in thee, in my mould, thy truth: nor will I endure the questions of such people, who in a penal disease thirst for more than their bellies will hold

Can you see what I'm getting at? I can that, What did God make before he made heaven and earth?

Can you see what I'm getting at? The thing is Or, Why came it in his mind to make anything then, having never made anything before?

6 6
we went through the Second World War Give them grace, O Lord, well to bethink themselves what they say

here in ward 4, and to find that they cannot say Never,

those four years when there is no time.

and he went off to war. That he is said therefore never to have made, what is it else to say, than in no time to have made?

7 7
and I did something quite big out in Germany Let them see therefore, that there cannot possibly be any time without some or other of thy creatures:

with a red and white shirt on, and let them forbear this so vain talking.

are mopped out, mapped out, Let them stretch forth

when I came out the Anderson shelter rather towards those things which are before

8 8
and I've tried to blow Germany up and understand thee the eternal Creator of all times, to have been before all times

and all Thomas McB-. did who's a patient here and that no times be co-eternal with thee:

I can only remember when my father no, nor any other creature,

went off to war, even if there be any creature before all times".

Sources:

St.Augustine: Confessions. Vol. II. Translated 1631 by W.Watts. Loeb Classical Library. Harvard University Press, Cambridge, Massachusetts 1996. (Internet source pages 278-279, pages 280-281, pages 282-283).

This scan from the 1996 print is reorganized from three scans into one.

Schizophrenic woman: Source unknown but transcript probably from the periodical 'Psychiatry', could be found around february 1995, possibly an early issue.

Schizophrenic woman	Augustine

1	1
Yes, as I say, I'm very, the whole condition is life after death.	But because thy loving kindness is better than life itself,

now the thing is it's a life and death,	behold my life is a distraction,

it's you've got to make the other side of the grave	and thy right hand hath taken hold of me,

where did Australia come out in religion and, and New Zealand and Tasmania. Where did it come out?	even in my Lord the Son of Man, the Mediator betwixt thee that art but one, and us that art many, drawn many ways by many things


2	2
but I can only remember this side of it.	that by him I may apprehend him in whom I am also apprehended,

I mean at one time You see,	and that I may be gathered up from my old conversation, to follow that one, and to forget what is behind:

That's the problem, I think it was Ireland so the thing is, the point is,	not distracted but attracted, stretching forth not to what shall be and shall pass away, but to those things which are before:


3	3
I can't remember coming in	not, I say, distractedly but intently, follow I hard on, for the garland of my heavenly calling, where I may hear the voice of thy praise, and contemplate these delights of thine,

But where was the garden of Eden?	which are neither to come, nor to pass away.

somebody turned my people into animals	But now are my years spent in mourning, and thou, my Comfort, O Lord, my Father, art Everlasting

and I didn't know what was going on	but I fall into dissolution amid the changing times, whose order I am yet ignorant of:


4	4
and I think that's Dr.Z-, you see but	yea, my thoughts are torn asunder with tumultuous vicissitudes,

but he did prostitution behind my back with them	even the inmost bowels of my soul

as a, as a new born baby.	until I may be

there's Egypt, the land of the Pharaohs, and there's all round Iran, all round the religious countries.	run into thee, purified and molten by the fire of thy love".


5	5
the thing is, I mean,	And after that

he all he did was build up Germany the way he said he was gonna build it up,	I will stand, and grow hard in thee, in my mould, thy truth: nor will I endure the questions of such people, who in a penal disease thirst for more than their bellies will hold

Can you see what I'm getting at? I can that,	What did God make before he made heaven and earth?

Can you see what I'm getting at? The thing is	Or, Why came it in his mind to make anything then, having never made anything before?


6	6
we went through the Second World War	Give them grace, O Lord, well to bethink themselves what they say

here in ward 4,	and to find that they cannot say Never,

those four years	when there is no time.

and he went off to war.	That he is said therefore never to have made, what is it else to say, than in no time to have made?


7	7
and I did something quite big out in Germany	Let them see therefore, that there cannot possibly be any time without some or other of thy creatures:

with a red and white shirt on,	and let them forbear this so vain talking.

are mopped out, mapped out,	Let them stretch forth

when I came out the Anderson shelter	rather towards those things which are before


8	8
and I've tried to blow Germany up	and understand thee the eternal Creator of all times, to have been before all times

and all Thomas McB-. did who's a patient here	and that no times be co-eternal with thee:

I can only remember when my father	no, nor any other creature,

went off to war,	even if there be any creature before all times".