The story of my MA thesis

The story of my MA thesis

John Bjarne Grover

In the 1980's I had worked freelance as partwriter for norwegian music organizers - a trivial form of work which, though, made it possible for me to stay abroad quite a lot. I studied and worked in the 1980's and participated in the MUSIKUS program and wrote a 300 page formalization of music notation which probably served to prove my abilities in research. Could be that is why I got a student stipend for my MA studies in 1990, about the time of the death of my official father (or, rather, the one whom I believe took the original father's place in 1969 and never told his identity - he had pretended to have the same identity, house, wife etc as the original). After his death in late 1990 I went to Budapest for working with my master thesis and quickly ran into the problems of what I call the fundamental theorem of logic - which could not be solved for the purposes of the work I was into and therefore I wrote the empirical study of my master thesis 'A model for a non-discrete grammar' which was finished in february 1992. I was later told by Helge Lødrup that I got a very good mark (1.5) on this work, but the exam in may was not so good so it ended on 1.8 - which is still very good even if not the best result. What happened on the exam? It was in the course of the studies that Helge Lødrup was a new employee (amanuensis, I think he was) coming over from Stanford, I think it was. Why could I not attend his lectures so easily? The problem could, as I understand it today, have been the same as in the literary studies of 1982 - today I fancy that some lecturers had read intelligence reports on my person but could not under any circumstances leak the hypersecrets to me - for which reason the electric air would be vibrating with a scandal which could not even be touched upon, and it was not possible to come to the point. Even today I have never heard the scandalous news and live in a glass bubble of 'social dysfunction' which never has told a word about this to me. Lødrup was apparently a decent scholar of apparently somewhat generativist inclinations, which in those days meant being an insider in a somewhat esoteric brotherhood which would not come out with the secret. Could be I was the secret, though - and could be the real problem was that the society seemed to support my official parents by respecting the secrecies. (I could not guess this overtly in those days, though - maybe I still cannot).

Once in a lecture of Lødrup I pushed the chair backwards which produced a scraping frictional sound, and could be it was in a later lecture that somebody had written "He'll bounce back" in white chalk on the blackboard. Lødrup commented on this - it is not likely that he had written it but it could have been left over from a former lecturer. (I could perhaps recall also the story from 1970 with the chairs in the film room).

To these problems could have added the name of Lødrup - since today I can spot the similarity in the Löhrgasse parallel street to Zinckgasse in Vienna - and there are even reasons to speculate if the current austrian government could be built on the formula of 'Löhr-MI6' for the idea of 'Lør-dags-barnetimen'. If so, his first name 'Helge' would mean 'the holy one', such as the PTRSIM PIK with the Messiah-like Stammbaum. 'Lør-dup' suggests a saturday nap, and 'helga' = the weekend. Could be his name could have served to hint something like this 'innateness theory' to me? However that be, it was on the exam day in may that the institute sent Lødrup to bring the choice of exam essay and there were two options: Either on Saussure or on Chomsky's "Syntactic structures". It was probably the plan that I should write about Saussure, which could have been a better choice, but I wrote an essay on Chomsky's ideas which, I said, for being scientifically interesting (and not just empty speculation) would have to be traced to empirical data anyhow and that meant that the righthand contexts had to find its way back to the neural address of the lefthand context in any case. Could be the scandal was this mention of the 'address' - I mean, if Zinckgasse had been planned for me already then, the mention of 'address' relative to the name of Lødrup could have invoked ideas - which I could not guess in those days. This sort of 'glass bubble' was the problem then as it is now.

After an autumn 1992 of promising work and a stipend at the "Centre for technology and human values" for writing the chapter "Epistemes, language and information technology" part 1 (volume 3 pages 193-267) for a planned collection of such studies organized by Henrik Sinding-Larsen, I had hoped to get a doctorate (or was it research) stipend by the research council but this was rejected because, as MA advisor Hovdhaugen said, I had not applied for a stipend also at the faculty of humanistic studies. Some personal friction, was that the problem - like a chair on the floor/Flur/Diele? It seems that I would have to 'bounce back'. I completed the article in the course of january 1993 and thereafter was unemployed for 2 years, being forced to send lots of applications for rejection by the society in order to keep up my rights to unemployment support. I started working with the book "Submorphemic signification" (volume 3 pages 15-192 which I sent to some publishers abroad but did not know that I already then could have been a famous character in their mythos inventory since long. After 2 years of unemployment I got a stipend in Bergen for my doctorate dissertation, which was rejected and another 2 years of unemployment with lots of rejected applications followed.

The fresh theory which has come up in recent times is that even Himmler's holocaust could have been designed as a 'preschedule' on my life qua PTRSIM PIK - in which case the concentration camp Bergen-Belsen in principle could have been pretelling of my studies at Bergen university 1995-98. And then of course the 'Pelzgasse' between Zinckgasse and Löhrgasse in Vienna is an interesting name. Could be, therefore, that the holocaust was my real problem - but I have not carried these studies very far, so I am not making any claims. Auschwitz (octogon and USA-witz), Sobibor, Treblinka, Belcez, Dachau, Sachsenhausen, Buchenwald, Bergen-Belsen and many other camps can apparently find a relevant interpretation in my life and background. 'Treblinka' (means a wound in the bark of a tree made by the forester to show a tree is to be felled) is my name 'jump-jarnegg-grover'. This could of course in itself be a sufficient supersecret to make the air 'electric' if lecturers had read such classified reports but could not tell it to me.

If this story is the truth of the holocaust, then it is the confession of this nazi scandal which the world is now waiting impatiently for. It could be the war in Ukraine, the earthquake of Turkey etc etc.

It is true that I am not a typical academic and that most of what I have made of contributions to academic scholarship has gone through the prism of my own poetry. But clearly that does not mean that my work should not be credited properly. Lødrup's comment on the evaluation of 1.5 on my MA thesis is, though, contrary to those who may have plans of proving that I could not have written my work because I was disabled in many senses of it. That of course is not true - I am the only and authentic author of my works, and I have my full authority.